End of me

I already have something prepared to post for today but something happened to me today, early in the morning just before I woke up that I had to write about and I would like share to the world.

I was having this dream that I was preparing to go to out on a date and that I was so excited, and while I was in the middle of getting dressed I suddenly I felt that I was having difficulty breathing and the more I tried to breath, the harder it became for me that I was already choking. So I thought it might be the clothes I was wearing so I removed my jacket then my shirt but still the same as if I am running out of air. That’s when I woke up!

Finally, I said to myself it was all but a dream but when I tried to move I can’t move any part of my body! Oh no here we go again! I can see my room, I hear the noises outside my room, the voices of people walking but I just can’t move my body. I just kept on trying and trying to get up and I was already getting tired and I was already thinking if this is how I am going to leave this world, when finally after one final push I was able to wake up. I felt so weak as I was finally able to sit on my bed.

I had similar experiences like this in the past, so this is nothing new to me but this was one of the most difficult of them. It is also very different in a sense that in the past, whenever I had these episodes I would say to myself if this is my time to depart then let it be but today I felt really sad. I don’t want to leave like this, not now when I already found my one true love that I want to spend the rest of my life with which had not even started yet. I don’t want to go like this, all alone in my bed and not like how I want it to be, to breathe my last breath, to close my eyes one final time in her arms.

Photo taken with Canon EOS 600D with 18-135mm kit lens.

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